A Special Message From nOMad Guide, Rianna Hijlkema

IG Posts (Oct 2022- on)  (6)
Do you think that comparison is the thief of joy?

I've never really compared myself to others but instead used others' achievements as an inspiration for my own life and goals.

That’s how I started traveling around the world, found an amazing partner, achieved a healthy lifestyle, opened a language school, started a consulting practice, and co-founded a coaching company.

But.. infertility created a MAJOR shift..

While I was injecting myself for the third round of IVF, many of my friends were getting pregnant by just ‘looking’ at each other. 

And suddenly I started comparing myself to ALL of them. Thinking... 

⭐️ Why did she get pregnant?

⭐️ She doesn’t even eat healthily!

⭐️ She doesn’t even have time for a baby!

⭐️ She doesn’t even take care of herself!

And then, almost immediately I felt super guilty for having these thoughts… and the jealousy turned into tons of negative self-talk…

⭐️ I can’t believe you even think that!

⭐️ Why can’t you just be happy for her?

⭐️ You’re such a horrible person!

Instead of giving myself a break, I was beating myself up. 

After talking to hundreds of women, I know now that all these feelings are really common during infertility (and any other major life challenge!) because you need to accept something you cannot change.

The problem with comparing is that all these feelings of ‘being less than’ are based on superficial information.

We often compare our inside feelings with other people’s outside looks. And that’s just not the whole picture.

And it’s hard to feel seen and heard in a world where people don’t like to talk about your silent struggle. I know everyone wants success stories, I wanted and needed it too. I just didn’t get it. The rollercoaster of emotions is hard to grasp for the outside world.

And that's why I host retreats for women who are childless-not-by-choice. It's not your regular retreat, this is an experience! And it’s unlike any other program out there because I know that rebuilding your life being childless takes more than goal setting and visualizations. 

I know that many of you will have a hard time with the upcoming holidays. Due to infertility, divorce, still looking for the love of your life, missing a family member, having financial difficulties, health problems, etc… 

Just remember, that behind every incredible holiday picture posted on your timeline, there’s a story. A story of hardship, challenges, loss and sadness and many other things you’ll never know about… 

And that’s okay! It’s up to everybody to share whatever part of the story they want to share, but… let’s stop wasting our precious energy focusing on other peoples’ lives rather than our own.

Every minute you spend wishing you had someone else’s life is a minute spent wasting yours… and life is too freaking short for that!

With love,

Photographer Business Card


EXCLUSIVE to our nOMad Collective Membership!

Graphic #1

Every transition forces you to let go of the familiar and face the future with a feeling of vulnerability and uncertainty. In this series, you will be introduced to the A.C.C.E.P.T. Model™ and learn 6 strategies to deal with a reality that you cannot change.

Receive full access to THIS course by Rianna and other nOMad Guides (including yoga, meditations, yoga philosophy, and specially designed programs to calm your nervous system).

 Join nOMad's Community Membership for ONLY $33/mo or $333 a year (HOLIDAY SPECIAL UNTIL DEC 31st)




Appalachian Trail Retreat (Asheville NC, USA)

MARCH 23-26, 2023

Hosted By Rianna Hijlkema

Program & Event Graphics (800 × 800 px)

What if you could take a pause from your usual routine, join a carefully selected tribe of amazing women, and learn the tools that can help you through the good and bad days?

By the end of this transformational hike, you will have more clarity on what you want out of life, have the road map to get you there, and learn powerful tools and practices to stop waiting and start living again. And… nothing is more transformational than experiencing something this unique with people who get you.



There are no comments yet. Be the first one to leave a comment!